Skip to content
HeadsUpDaddy

Local-only · No account · No tracking

Know what week you're walking into.

HeadsUpDaddy tracks the cycles of the women in your life — partner, daughter, whoever — and warns you in advance with an escalating DEFCON threat level. It's a comedy app that happens to be accurate: the jokes are why you install it, the math is why you keep it.

HeadsUpDaddy
HeadsUpDaddy
Coming soon to the App StoreSee how it works
iPhone, iOS 17+Free, no IAP17+ ratingNo data collected

The insight

The useful warning isn't three days out.

A three-day warning describes weather you're already standing in. PMS builds gradually over the back half of the luteal phase, typically starting five to eleven days out and cresting in the final forty-eight hours. HeadsUpDaddy replaces a single last-minute ping with an escalating warning ladder that starts around thirteen days out, so you see the shift coming instead of getting caught in it.

The DEFCON ladder

Six states. You only have to remember two.

Every profile has its own dial, always showing a number and a label — colour is never the only signal. Watch the same guy go from feet-up-relaxed to full brace position:

  1. DEFCON 5
    All clear

    Follicular phase

    Best two weeks of the month. Be a person again.

  2. DEFCON 4
    Green light

    Fertile window (partner profiles only)

    Peak odds. Use them or don't — the app is a notification, not a life coach.

  3. DEFCON 3
    Situation developing

    Early luteal, ~T-13 to T-8

    The dimmer switch starts turning. Nothing urgent yet — just start paying attention.

  4. DEFCON 2
    Shields up

    PMS window, T-5 to T-3 (default)

    The hard stretch. Notifications get sharper, and the app tells you what to actually do.

  5. DEFCON 1
    Maximum threat

    Final 48 hours

    Peak difficulty. The app's advice at this level: say less.

  6. DEFCON CONTACT
    Contact

    Logged bleeding days

    Heating pad deployed. This is the part that's actually hard for her — not a joke week.

See the full ladder and every notification type →

Sample notifications

The jokes point at the dad. Always.

HeadsUpDaddy has one rule that governs every line of copy: the humour targets him — his cowardice, his terrible timing, his need to be told what to do — never her. These are Tactical tier, the default. A saltier, opt-in Unfiltered tier exists for partner profiles (17+), but you won't find it here or on the App Store listing.

DEFCON 2 · PMS window

“You have no opinions this week. You have never had an opinion.”

Tactical tier

DEFCON 1 · Peak difficulty

“Do not explain. Do not clarify. Do not say ‘calm down’ — that one's a war crime.”

Tactical tier

T-minus 3 · Pre-window

“Three days out. Begin Operation Suspiciously Helpful.”

Tactical tier

Supply check

“Tampons, ibuprofen, chocolate. Three items. Men have landed on the moon with less.”

Tactical tier

DEFCON 5 · All clear

“You survived. Nobody will ever know what you did here.”

Tactical tier

Gesture suggestion

“Flowers: €15. Being right: your entire weekend. Do the math.”

Tactical tier

Tone

Three tiers. One rule.

Plain

All profiles

Neutral, informative, no jokes. The floor for every profile, including daughters — locked, not just defaulted.

Tactical

Default

Military framing, dad cast as the well-meaning idiot, no profanity. What you see on this site and in the App Store.

Unfiltered

Opt-in · Partner only

Sharper, profanity allowed, behind a settings toggle and a one-time confirmation. Sets the app's 17+ rating. Never shown here.

Privacy

No account. No server. No sync. No analytics. No crash reporter.

Every prediction happens on your phone. There's nothing to hack, nothing to leak, and nothing to subpoena, because there's nowhere for the data to be. Uninstalling the app destroys everything it stored, irrecoverably — there's no server to restore it from.

Read the full privacy policy

Please read this part

HeadsUpDaddy is not medical advice. It is not a contraceptive and must never be used as one. It is not a fertility treatment. It predicts a calendar, not biology you can rely on for anything medical — talk to an actual clinician for that.

Multiple profiles

Partner. Daughter. Each one is its own app.

Every profile gets its own tone, its own severity setting, and its own notification schedule. Fertility-window tracking is a feature of partner profiles — for a daughter profile there's no toggle to switch off, because the feature isn't hidden, it isn't built into that profile at all. That's enforced in three independent places in the code, not one setting someone could accidentally flip.

Read how HeadsUpDaddy handles consent — the Yes, She Knows page →
HeadsUpDaddy
HeadsUpDaddy

HeadsUpDaddy — coming to the App Store

Free, no in-app purchases, 17+. Local-only, always.

Coming soon to the App Store

Want to know when it launches? Email support@wakesys.com.